You’re not Perfect! [neither am i]

Image

Bloggers! I have missed you…. but not forgotten about you! 

Last week was the busiest week at my practice (saw so many clients!), had the first session of the Build Your Best Self seminar, and attended a 3-day intensive training for Core Energetics (part of my 2-year program). I’M TIRED!!!

Yes, I’ve been slacking on my blogging. My goal is to connect with you at least 3 times per week on here, but that just didn’t happen last week. And it might not happen this week. And that’s okay 🙂

That’s okay ????!! [Did I really just say that?] Yes!!!!!!!! A few years ago I would have NEVER actively admitted to not achieving something I set out to do. Never mind calling attention to it on a blog post! Have I lost my mind?? [don’t answer that :)]

No I haven’t! I want to make it okay for everyone to admit to the same! I’m not perfect, and I’m never going to be. I have this idealized image of myself that I’m never going to reach. And I’m fine with that. Because that idealized self doesn’t schedule much time for fun, works too much, and doesn’t account for real-life mishaps. 

If we feed into the idealized self, we create unrealistic working environments and goals that often lead to disappointment and discouragement to keep trying. Ever worked in a place where salaried employees were working 50-60 hours weekly instead of the intended 40 hours? That happens when one person tries to met an unreasonable demand, and eventually it becomes the norm. Now you have a culture that’s built on overworking and undervalued free time. Not good for the employees or the company itself. 

The US has a disproportionate amount of burn out, workplace accidents, and suicides. I think this idealized self could be the culprit. We need to make it okay for each other not to work towards unrealistic goals and levels of achievement that hinder real life experiences.

Only once we are honest with ourselves can we begin to look at affecting realistic, positive changes to better our lives. I’ll go first:

I’m not perfect. I won’t be able to achieve all the goals I set for myself. Most days I don’t finish my to-do list. I’m human, and I keep trying.

Now it’s your turn! Get real with yourself and others. Stop aiming towards your idealized self and reach for something tangible, realistic, and authentic. Get real in the comments below! Tell us about your idealized self and what’s gotta go! 

Moving towards my best self,

Brittany

Find me at Crossfit Providence

I’m so proud to be part of this amazing group of people! When I first joined Crossfit Providence, I had the same fears everyone does – “I can’t do this”, “these people are intimidating”, and “I will never be as good as them.” But these thoughts are so self-limiting!

That’s why I’ve become part of the staff – gradually, step by step, I’ve made huge gains in my strength, fitness, and overall wellbeing. I know you can have those gains too!

If you see me in the gym, are interested in making specific goals for yourself, or want to get rid of that voice that says “I can’t”, stop me and say hello. Or contact me through this website.

You can make huge changes in your life. You can build a better version of yourself. Ask me how!

Making Space for Stillness

Image

Meditation, presence, and quieting the mind have all been central themes in my work and personal life lately.

There seems to be this franticness that a lot of people are carrying around with them. A franticness that they need to figure out something big– like a career path or finding a partner. And the franticness serves to speed up the process because it must happen very soon or else…..

They might die. Their life will be over. They will never the thing they really want in life. 

This all sounds really dire and tragic, right? But is it true or real? Will you really die if your career path doesn’t look as planned? Will your life be over if you don’t find a partner before age 35? Is life really not worth living if you don’t have the bank account you thought you would by now? 

Picture spinning a top (the toy). Imagine that with each spin, we dive further and further into our own head and thoughts about how life should be, the things we should have, and what you need in order to be happy. And with each spin, you are fed more and more marketing about what society tells you that you should want and need. 

How would you get out of this situation and stop the spinning? 

This place is bred from scarcity and fear. When we feel we don’t have enough or are afraid, we are much more susceptible to messaging from the outside world and trust that more than ourselves. You have to disavow scarcity and fear within yourself to overcome the spinning.

How do I do that?

Before you can replace the scarcity and fear with something that actually serves you, you must first create the space for the inspiration and exploration of something new. The space will first be filled with stillness- a quieted mind, free from judgment and franticness. In the stillness you will find new ideas, feelings, and sensations coming up for you. Look, listen, and feel those things for all they can offer you. 

Find the stillness through meditation, yoga, prayer, singing, dancing or any other way that serves you. 

Share your practice below to inspire others 🙂

 

Be your best self today,

Brittany

What’s Your Addiction?

Image

I found so many themes that corresponded with addiction this weekend that I feel compelled to talk about it with you. 

Yes, most people know it was the SuperBowl this weekend. Sports fanaticism is many people’s addiction of choice. Although there are benefits to feeling like the “twelfth man” – being part of a large community, sharing in the team’s successes, and having something to watch on Monday nights – in many ways it serves as a distraction or permission. Distraction from my life, successes I wish I had professionally, and the admiration I wish others had for me. It also gives us permission to behave foolishly (yelling about a call), drink a little too much, and indulge. Between the distractions and behaviors it permits, it’s no wonder why so many are addicted to watching football.

This weekend we learned of Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s death. It is under investigation, but largely assumed that he died from a drug overdose. Drug addiction can serve as one of the most accessible and strongest escapes from reality there is. So what are we escaping from? Alcohol is a legal drug, but we can easily over indulge. Be observant when you do so. What were you distracting yourself from?

Too often we are unaware of what’s informing our actions and living without intention. Yet we have so much going on in our heads – what your partner said to you this morning, how your boss treated you, negative opinions of yourself. But we’re not allowed to air out that dirty laundry in most places. So we put on a mask that shows the world “everything’s great, I’m just fine.”

So where do those undesired thoughts and depressed feelings go? They’re there. Always. They won’t go away until you observe them and validate them. Make those thoughts and feelings legal. Explore them. What are you so afraid of finding in them? That you’re not perfect, that you need to work on your marriage, that your boss isn’t always pleased with you? So do the work!

Choosing to hide the thoughts and feelings is only a temporary fix. Soon, you will need an escape or distraction if they fester too long.

Make the choice to not feed your addiction. Make your thoughts and feelings legal for further exploration. Make your needs a priority and do the work! You can get the things you really want – but the first step is to listen. So listen good!

Always be your best self,

Brittany

 

Listening Advice from Larry King

Image

“Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” – Larry King, internationally known television and radio show host

It’s not often that I get the chance to quote Larry King. So when I do, I take it!

One of the best things we can do to connect to others, learn about someone, and get smarter is to listen! I know, sounds strange right? 

But think about this: How often to do you interrupt when someone else is talking? Think about what you’re going to say when the other person finishes? Check your email when you’re supposed to be listening? Are you supposed to be listening to someone right now while reading this?!!

Clean up your listening act now to be more present, charismatic, and genuine in your interactions with others:

– Stop multi-tasking! If you care about what the person is saying, then you owe it to them. If you don’t care, then why are you talking to them?

– When you find your mind wandering, pull it back in by making eye contact with the person. Or if on the phone, close your eyes to focus on their voice.

– Pause before responding. This will make you appear more thoughtful, composed, and present in your conversations!

Want more tips like this? Follow my blog and check out my FaceBook page for guidance to Be your best self!

Manage Your Stress Better!

Image

Who isn’t stressed? Right?! Especially around the Holidays!

Does your day look something like this? Drop off the kids, go to work, pick up the kids, go Christmas shopping, mail cards to family, cook dinner, get family pictures taken…..Aahhhhh!!!

So how do you stop the madness? Ideally, we’d all cope with stress successfully by using the techniques we know will ground us and make us calm. But for some reason, I can never remember what those are in the moment. Anyone else have this problem?

Our body’s response to extreme stress or a threatening situation is fight, flight, or freeze. Fighting with your boss, kids, or partner is probably not the best way to get what you need. Freezing will help you think momentarily about what your next move should be.

But I want to talk to you about flight- When we’re in a stressful situation either we’ve got to change, or the environment has to change. When a situation is too stressful, it’s difficult to change our behaviors or habits. So when you’re first working on coping skills to better manage stress, change your environment! 

– Walk away from the immediate stressor 

– Take space in another room or office and turn off the lights.

– Take a walk outside for 10 minutes to slow down your thoughts. 

The more practice you have in stressful situations, the more you will understand the control you have in them. Once you’ve regained some of that control, implementing stress management techniques will feel more like a positive choice your making, rather than further adding to your stress. Some techniques to try when your stress in on overload:

– Think of this: “Is my head in the same place as my feet are?” Be present!

– Fold in half with knees bent and do the waterfall.

– 3-Second Breaths: deep breath in (inhale over 3 seconds) and exhale (for 3 seconds). Repeat 10 times.

These grounding techniques will help you slow down, collect your thoughts, and strategize for success in whatever your stressful situation is.

What has worked for you in the past? Share your skills below!