Ever feel that some of your relationships resemble the picture above? You- taking care of a person who is supposed to be your spouse, partner, equal, peer?
Do you have days when talking with this person is more of a chore than an asset to your day?
Ever feel so exhausted by all the giving, listening, and care-taking you do for others that you don’t have time to take care of yourself?
Want this to be different? Want to be taken care of too?
You first have to ask yourself ‘How is this relationship serving you?’
There’s a good chance that you’re getting something out of serving others. Maybe it’s a way to be close to the people we’re taking care of, giving your life more purpose, or giving you something to complain about with others (this can be valid too!).
No, I’m not talking about taking care of Great Aunt Margaret. I’m talking about the relationships in your life that seem like you’re the one doing all the giving, and when the tables are turned, this person is not there to listen, support, and validate your needs as well.
Get what you want out of the relationship by making the following changes:
Take inventory- notice the times when you feel drained after being with this person. What was talked about? What happened? How do you feel after leaving that situation?
Ask for what you want- These people aren’t mind readers! Tell them what you need and see what happens. PS- this will be a pivotal point in the relationship!
Learn from a taker- Make sure you’re not draining others with your emotional needs. Ask yourself ‘Is the conversation balanced? Am I listening? When do I give back to them?’
Ever been in a relationship or friendship like this? Share your story below! How did it change? Or did it have to end?