You’re not Perfect! [neither am i]

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Bloggers! I have missed you…. but not forgotten about you! 

Last week was the busiest week at my practice (saw so many clients!), had the first session of the Build Your Best Self seminar, and attended a 3-day intensive training for Core Energetics (part of my 2-year program). I’M TIRED!!!

Yes, I’ve been slacking on my blogging. My goal is to connect with you at least 3 times per week on here, but that just didn’t happen last week. And it might not happen this week. And that’s okay 🙂

That’s okay ????!! [Did I really just say that?] Yes!!!!!!!! A few years ago I would have NEVER actively admitted to not achieving something I set out to do. Never mind calling attention to it on a blog post! Have I lost my mind?? [don’t answer that :)]

No I haven’t! I want to make it okay for everyone to admit to the same! I’m not perfect, and I’m never going to be. I have this idealized image of myself that I’m never going to reach. And I’m fine with that. Because that idealized self doesn’t schedule much time for fun, works too much, and doesn’t account for real-life mishaps. 

If we feed into the idealized self, we create unrealistic working environments and goals that often lead to disappointment and discouragement to keep trying. Ever worked in a place where salaried employees were working 50-60 hours weekly instead of the intended 40 hours? That happens when one person tries to met an unreasonable demand, and eventually it becomes the norm. Now you have a culture that’s built on overworking and undervalued free time. Not good for the employees or the company itself. 

The US has a disproportionate amount of burn out, workplace accidents, and suicides. I think this idealized self could be the culprit. We need to make it okay for each other not to work towards unrealistic goals and levels of achievement that hinder real life experiences.

Only once we are honest with ourselves can we begin to look at affecting realistic, positive changes to better our lives. I’ll go first:

I’m not perfect. I won’t be able to achieve all the goals I set for myself. Most days I don’t finish my to-do list. I’m human, and I keep trying.

Now it’s your turn! Get real with yourself and others. Stop aiming towards your idealized self and reach for something tangible, realistic, and authentic. Get real in the comments below! Tell us about your idealized self and what’s gotta go! 

Moving towards my best self,

Brittany

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What’s Your Addiction?

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I found so many themes that corresponded with addiction this weekend that I feel compelled to talk about it with you. 

Yes, most people know it was the SuperBowl this weekend. Sports fanaticism is many people’s addiction of choice. Although there are benefits to feeling like the “twelfth man” – being part of a large community, sharing in the team’s successes, and having something to watch on Monday nights – in many ways it serves as a distraction or permission. Distraction from my life, successes I wish I had professionally, and the admiration I wish others had for me. It also gives us permission to behave foolishly (yelling about a call), drink a little too much, and indulge. Between the distractions and behaviors it permits, it’s no wonder why so many are addicted to watching football.

This weekend we learned of Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s death. It is under investigation, but largely assumed that he died from a drug overdose. Drug addiction can serve as one of the most accessible and strongest escapes from reality there is. So what are we escaping from? Alcohol is a legal drug, but we can easily over indulge. Be observant when you do so. What were you distracting yourself from?

Too often we are unaware of what’s informing our actions and living without intention. Yet we have so much going on in our heads – what your partner said to you this morning, how your boss treated you, negative opinions of yourself. But we’re not allowed to air out that dirty laundry in most places. So we put on a mask that shows the world “everything’s great, I’m just fine.”

So where do those undesired thoughts and depressed feelings go? They’re there. Always. They won’t go away until you observe them and validate them. Make those thoughts and feelings legal. Explore them. What are you so afraid of finding in them? That you’re not perfect, that you need to work on your marriage, that your boss isn’t always pleased with you? So do the work!

Choosing to hide the thoughts and feelings is only a temporary fix. Soon, you will need an escape or distraction if they fester too long.

Make the choice to not feed your addiction. Make your thoughts and feelings legal for further exploration. Make your needs a priority and do the work! You can get the things you really want – but the first step is to listen. So listen good!

Always be your best self,

Brittany

 

CrossFit Workshop

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I had an amazing time working with the female athletes of CrossFit Providence over the weekend! I never tire of meeting new members and seeing the tenacity and strength in each one! You ladies never fail to amaze me with your accomplishments inside and outside of the gym. 

So in honor of the awesomeness of the ladies at the Women’s Workshop on Saturday Jan 25th, I will let all of you in on a little secret I shared with them:

You can have the life you really want!

I know, right?! Amazing stuff! It’s all yours, just waiting for you to believe in yourself, your strength, and your truth enough to go get it! So this is where I come in…

Do you have a dream life? I do – it’s me on a beach, with a good book, great food, and working 4 hours a day. What’s yours? Want your dream life to live forever in dreamland or reality? That’s your choice!

Want to choose to make your dream life your reality? Not everyone does. Some are too afraid to share their dreams with others because then they’ll have to answer for their lack of progress towards their dream. So they never achieve their dream out of FEAR. Remember what I said about fear…

What’s that you say? So you’re not going to let fear run your life and steer you away from your dreams? GREAT!

Now what? Strategize for success! You’re not going to get there overnight, but if you want to make sure you achieve your dream life at some point, you need a plan!

Below is my Life Aim worksheet  with steps to:

– visualize your dream life,

– break it down,

– determine needed resources,

– prioritize,

– and goal set!

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What’s your Life Aim? Share yours below and you may inspire others 🙂 Want help developing a Life Aim? Work with me

Be Your Best Self!

Brittany

Listening Advice from Larry King

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“Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” – Larry King, internationally known television and radio show host

It’s not often that I get the chance to quote Larry King. So when I do, I take it!

One of the best things we can do to connect to others, learn about someone, and get smarter is to listen! I know, sounds strange right? 

But think about this: How often to do you interrupt when someone else is talking? Think about what you’re going to say when the other person finishes? Check your email when you’re supposed to be listening? Are you supposed to be listening to someone right now while reading this?!!

Clean up your listening act now to be more present, charismatic, and genuine in your interactions with others:

– Stop multi-tasking! If you care about what the person is saying, then you owe it to them. If you don’t care, then why are you talking to them?

– When you find your mind wandering, pull it back in by making eye contact with the person. Or if on the phone, close your eyes to focus on their voice.

– Pause before responding. This will make you appear more thoughtful, composed, and present in your conversations!

Want more tips like this? Follow my blog and check out my FaceBook page for guidance to Be your best self!